Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Blog Entry14
Chapter 13: Goals in Interpersonal Communication defines the different conflict styles. Sad but true, I find myself using the competing style when I am in conflict with my boyfriend. When you are in that situation, all you think about is to show the other partner that you are going to win the conflict. Even though you don’t want to, you tend to concern more about your self than your partner. In fact, you will become more selfish because you are caught in the moment. So, who is right and wrong does not matter. What matter is who will have the last word, until both of you calm down and common sense comes to your mind. This is when my boyfriend and I use the compromising style and come to an agreement, and everything is good till the cycle begins again.
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3 comments:
I agree with the competing style in an argument. I have a friend and we are ALWAYS fighting. He is older and always thinks he is right, and since i m younger I dont know what I'm doing or saying. So whenever there is something up between us, its a fight to prove the self right. And my biggest argument is that he doesn't give me credit for having a brain and trying to solve my problem (whatever the fight is over) so then he undermines me. His defense is that I'm to "angry" a person to see right vs wrong etc.. so becomes a hugely heated argument that ruins generally the rest of the time we have together. And yes, the pattern repeats itself essentially every other day. (Yes we have alot of headbutting, hence why we are friends and nothing more hahaha).
Hi there! Great post on the five conflict styles. I found this really interesting as well and I even wrote on the five conflict styles for my chapter 13 blog post. I think what you said made perfect sense. “Even though you don’t want to, you tend to be more concerned about yourself than your partner.” This is very true and I liked how you used it to explain selfishness. Once again, I really enjoyed your reading this blog post!
having the last word seems to be pretty important to most people when in an arguement with a partner. I too find myself getting caught up in who has the last word, but i have found that having the most tactical comment usually wins. I find that just because you have the last word does not always mean it is the most meaningful and when that fight begins, people start saying things just to hurt the other person and things are said that should not be said; causing another fight is not always the best thing for the first one. It is just so hard sometimes not to get in that last word and it shows who stubborn each person is. An agruement is not always supposed to be a boxing match. Usually the last punch wins in a KO. Argueing is more of a fight that is going to a decision.
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