Chapter 10: Maintaining Relationship caught my attention when I read the relational maintenance and equity section, which started out with a story about Steve and Jennifer. The couple resembles a friend of mine. When ever she goes out eat with her boyfriend, she is likely the one who is paying for the food. The issue is that she is not working but he is. I keep telling her that she should let him pay because he is the one who is working full time, but she responded that he pays for other stuff. Basically, in their relationship everything has to be equal. If one pays for the movie then the other pay for dinner.
As the book indicates, equity is the fairness of what two people put in and what they obtain.
Sorry to say, but I really don’t believe in relationship that is based on equity. Relationship should be the willingness of sharing; it should be out of love, and not just favors or equity. It should just come naturally out of love. I understand if it is the beginning of the relationship, but relationship should generally not be based from equity.
1 comment:
Hey danishgris,
I found it interesting reading about what you said about your friend and how in her relationship, she and her boyfriend pay by turns and it is always equal.
One thing I have to say is that money is not the only thing that needs to be equal. I'm sure you understand that, but you did not mention it, so I am only because it fits in to my example:
I was in a long distance relationship once. It was a 3 hour difference, which was not a big distance for us because one of us drove to see the other every weekend. The way we had it worked out was that if I drove to see him, he would pay all weekend, and if he came down to see me, I would pay all weekend. It worked out really great for us because it for the person driving, it was gas money, but also, it was the big effort to drive 6 hours in one weekend to see the other. And when we got there, the other would reciprocate the effort by being the one to pay for dinner, movies, etc.
Thank goodness this relationship was 2 years ago, before today's gas prices!
-Aleks
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